II. "SUCCESSFUL SPEEDING"
Be forewarned; chronic speeding will get you stopped sooner than later.Let's
face it; you cannot drive anywhere without breaking some sort of law
somewhere in the vehicle code. Given what I covered in the previous
section, you're going to want to maintain situational awareness. It is
possible to drive at a speed you're comfortable with and still avoid
paying your share of the driver tax. Let's now look at some of the
things you can do.
A. Your Eyes
Your eyes are your first and best line of defense. Always know what is
going on around you. Not only does this help you in spotting the police
more diligently, it is also good driving behavior. Learn to maintain
situational awareness at all times. Don't rely heavily on a radar
detector; not being observant could get you a pacing ticket. Never take
your eyes off of your rear-view. You never know about that cruiser
lurking in that clump of traffic...
B. Radar Detectors
A radar detector is your next best weapon against "red eyes." While
there is much debate over which brand is better, plan on spending $200
or more for a GOOD radar detector. Lower grade models do not provide an
adequate warning for Ka band radar. With the proliferation of
low-powered, DSP Ka band radar, you better have a detector that can
sniff it out in time. Mounting of the radar detector is crucial.
Although it is legal (except in VA, DC, and DOD installations), almost
all cops do not like seeing one in a motorist's vehicle. They will
assume that because you have a detector, you must be a speeder. Be
careful! Make sure where you place it does not affect signal reception.
Also, consider hard-wiring it or hiding the wiring so it is less
conspicuous. Check out the appendix for more helpful hints.
VERY IMPORTANT: Radar detectors are NOT cop detectors. They only tell
you if radar is being used nearby. Don't think that just because you
see a police cruiser and your detector keeps quiet everything is fine
and dandy. It is just a tool to help you as you drive. Think of it as a
co-pilot helping you look out for bogeys.
C. Your Car
If an officer had to choose between a nicer-looking, well-kept up car,
and one with a missing rear bumper and a few blown-out bulbs, guess
which one he is going to pick? The idea is to not give an officer any
more reasons to follow and stop you. Make sure that your car looks
good. Keep it washed and clean inside. Remember, how you "present"
yourself begins at the moment the lights go on.
D. Observing your surroundings
Here are several things to keep in mind:
1. Don't shop for lanes. Drive steady and you won't stick out.
2. Never drive in the left lane. Cops will think that because you are
in the left (fast) lane, you must be a speeder. Besides, the left lane
is to be used for passing only.
![](../media/tickets/crownvic.jpg)
3. Learn to recognize police vehicles. Pay attention to headlights and other characteristics. Know HOW to spot a patrol car.
DO NOT RELY
on looking for light bars, as police departments have switched to low
profile LEDs or are simply deploying slicktop units (no light bars on
the roof). Police Interceptors differ greatly from the civilian Crown
Victorias...
- The front grille is egg-hatched and black plastic as opposed to chrome (be careful as some patrol cars have the chrome grills)
- The front bumper may have two large black push bumpers.
- Spotlights are mounted on the pillars and have either chrome or flat black housings.
- Mirror housings are typically flat black. The rear trunk panels are
also flat black. In civilian models, the housings and panels are color
matched.
- The headlight pattern is very distinctive. You will notice that there
are large amber strips on the inner part of the headlights that give a
scattered LED appearance. Practice carefully, or you may find yourself
slowing for Jettas (similar look from far away). Know what the headlight pattern will look like at least 1/4 mile (1320 ft) away.
- From the rear, look for dual exhaust tips.
Note: Some departments have gotten smart and switched to other vehicles
(i.e. Impalas, Intrepids, Camaros, etc.). Know what your local police
drive and get to know the exterior features of those cars.
4. Be suspicious of vehicles along the shoulder. You never know.
5. Slow down when approaching underpasses - cops tend to hide there. Also look at the top of onramps.
6. Slow down if you notice a vehicle matching your speed. Identify the
pursuing vehicle. If you recognize/see a Crown Victoria behind you and
is moving faster than traffic, it is most likely a cop.
7. If a large clump of traffic is behind you and going awfully slow, something is amiss.
The aforementioned holds especially true at night, when it is harder to pick out the "red eyes" that are watching.
8. If you see a CHP pass you up then exit the freeway, WATCH
YOUR MIRRORS. See where he goes. Often they will exit a freeway only to
get back on.
9. CHP cruisers tend to come up on you from the right lanes.
If you're on a large multi-laned freeway such as the 405, pay attention
to the rightmost lanes, especially the on-ramps. When they sneak up on
you, they will always come from that side of the freeway. Likewise,
motorcycles are almost ALWAYS in the carpool and left lanes. I can spot
these guys in a flash and be doing legal by the time they see me. I've
been paced MANY times, and each time without success (except the two
times I was pulled over, where they made up a story). One time on PCH
in the Malibu area I spotted an oncoming CHP 1/2 mile out...I got legal
all of a sudden...this tailgater behind me didn't take the cue...blew
past me and got his attention. Speaking of cues, look for them.
Sometimes people will warn you of an upcoming trap via hi-beams. If the
flow of the freeway suddenly drops, it means something's lurking.
10. If you're on a multi-lane freeway and are at least 3 lanes
from the fast lane and blowing past traffic, you are a prime candidate
for getting caught. If you are going at least 20 MPH over the flow, you
are asking for it.
In California, driving 25 MPH above the speed limit is considered reckless.
11. Stick with a group of traffic. Whenever possible have a car in
front and to the rear of you. This lessens the likelihood of you
getting plucked off from behind. Enjoy the cover.
12. Know which depts. use what radar band...
- CHP always uses Ka band. WATCH OUT! Some now use LIDAR.
- Most radar trailers use K band.
- Local depts. use a mix of K and Ka band. Some use LIDAR.
If you encounter Ka-band alerts on a freeway, a CHP
officer is lurking nearby. If the signal strength goes up very quickly,
he is most likely on the other side of the freeway. If it is gradual,
look to the side of the road...he's hiding there. If it is intermittent
(disappears and keeps coming back...this is where a V1 is handy), he's
either ahead of you or to the rear (if you have a V1, the arrows will
tell you). If you're on a rural freeway that has an open median,
remember that CHP can execute Hollywood-grade U-turns through it at a
very high speed. They won't hesitate to switch directions to come after
you.
13. If you see six CHP cruisers on the side of the road in succession, look up. There's a chopper or a plane watching you.
14. Lastly, and most important (and obvious): Don't drive
significantly faster than the flow of traffic. Don't do anything to
gather attention to yourself. It IS possible to do faster speeds and
not get caught (sticking with the flow and having enough cars around
you).
The aforementioned holds especially true at night, when it is harder to pick out the "red eyes" that are watching.
The bottom line? Maintain situational awareness of everything going on around you.
E. Speed Enforcement
Consult the appendix to learn more about the various forms of speeding enforcement and the pitfalls you can exploit.
F. Common Speed Traps
Downhills. If you're on a long, steep downgrade, expect a
motorcycle officer to be waiting for you at the bottom. Motorists on
downhills are easy prey because they will either have to ride the
brakes (that's bad; don't do that) or downshift to lower gears (all the
worse if there's an ordinance against engine noise).
Fake construction zones. Keep your eyes peeled for construction
zones that have no work going on or construction workers who seem "out
of place." Often, officers will dress up as construction workers. Now I
suggested in Section X that you'll have a hard time fighting tickets
from construction zones (legitimate gripe), but lately police have
discovered to use construction zones (unethically) to their advantage
by preying on motorists.
School zones. If children are around, you shouldn't be speeding,
period. However, quota-padding officers are known to hang around school
zones long after school has let out. If you're ticketed in a school
zone for allegedly violating CVC 22350, it is technically the improper
code to cite you under. Refer to The Ticket Assasin for details.
Multiple lane passing zones. On two lane roads, officers
routinely set up shop in passing zones because that's where the money
is and thus, negates the efficacy of passing lanes as motorists will
now be too afraid to pull off first-degree passes. This creates a
conundrum for those who wish to pass slower vehicles. Do you pass
someone who refuses to turnout over the double yellow? No! You're
supposed to pass using the passing zones! Use the passing zones? No,
you'll risk being ticketed (especially if a militant safety driver
wants to hang you out to dry). Don't want to be ticketed? You have two
choices: sit behind the slow poke and fume, or dispatch him over the
double yellow. Better be the correct one.
Holiday weekends. Three day weekends are feeding frenzies under
the guise of safety. Often times they'll run with a rabbit (unmarked) -
lulling other motorists into a false sense of security (see myth #5) -
until they swoop down on their prey like vultures. You'll find these
stunts on MAJOR arteries in the state (i.e. Interstates 5, 8, 10, 15,
40, 80; SR 99; US 50, 101, 395).
Ensure that you give NO excuse for an officer to pull you over. Double check everything with your vehicle.
G. If You've Been Spotted
1. If a stationary officer pulls out, is going the other direction and
makes a U-turn, or catches up to you and begins to follow you, you WILL
be pulled over. It's only a matter of time. The officer could be
running a check or finding an ideal place to stop. Don't make sudden
movements...he's not stupid. When the lights go on, immediately pull
over unless directed otherwise.
On Southern California freeways, particularly in Los Angeles and
Orange Counties, you will be directed to the nearest exit, especially
after hours.
If he's behind you - following you - NEVER touch your brakes.
Lit brake lights = speeding.
There is a 50/50 chance that he is going to pull you over, and if you
somehow show your brake lights in response to spotting him spotting
you, you just put yourself in the 50% side of being pulled over.
Don't even tap your brake lights.
Also, when you hit the brakes, the front end of your vehicle dips
downward. Cops know to look for that and is a sign that you must have
been speeding.
If you really are speeding and you see a cop approaching from behind,
downshift. Duh. When you downshift, the engine "brakes" for you.
However, you must do it at the right time when the officer is still off
in the distance (at least 1/4 mile behind you). If he is close, it will
be too obvious. Owners of cars with manual transmissions already know
about this "trick;" it's the owners of slushboxes who are asking the
obvious "stupid" question. Trust me; there are plenty of motorists out
there who don't have a clue as to what the "2" and "L" positions are
for - and it has nothing to do with hills or towing.
(Uhm, time for a disclaimer. I'm not responsible for blown engines
because stupid automatic owners were dumb enough to downshift well
beyond the point where their engine would over-rev in lower gears.)
If he's tailgating you (common with the CHP), let him. Don't try to
change lanes or shake him (I did that the first time I got pulled over
- big mistake). Don't try to brake check him (flicking/tapping your
brakes to briefly light your rears) either. Again, the 50/50 scenario
applies. Either he's going to intimidate you for a while so that you
"learn your lesson" (before he passes you and speeds off somewhere) or
he's going to pull you over.
If he starts bellowing at you over the PA system, just do what he says.
Don't make him scream at you (besides, everyone within a 1/4 mile
radius can hear).
2. Roll down the windows slightly, turn the engine off and put the keys
on the dash, and place your hands on the steering wheel. If it's
nighttime, turn on your dome light.
![License and registration.](../media/tickets/supertrooper.jpg)
3. Remember when I said that your presentation begins when the lights
go on? Be careful with the officer's questions. He's collecting
evidence against you. ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN (WILL) BE USED AGAINST YOU
IN A COURT OF LAW. Police officers have timed-honed repertoire designed
to trip you up and give the information needed to cook your goose, e.g.
"Why were you recklessly weaving in and out of traffic?" "What's the
hurry?" Do not admit to how fast you were going. Don't give a number if
he asks you to estimate your own speed ("How fast do you think you were
going?"). Simply say you were driving at a safe and reasonable speed.
Be short, direct, and to the point. Don't explain. Don't offer excuses.
Likewise, anything an officer says is also admissible, so be sure to
take notes (not in front of him, though).
If you have passengers, make sure they keep quiet unless the officer
asks them questions. Like Chris Rock suggested in his humorous skit,
"How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked By the Police," shut the fvck up. If
your passengers/friends do open up their mouths and incriminate you,
after receiving the ticket, feel free to bitchslap and tar and feather
them with my blessing. Ban them from ever riding with you again. I'll
never forget my lesson when I was a young-in and late for school. My
mother tried to lie her way out of a speeding ticket and I tried to be
honest figuring that policemen were good, as I was taught in the first
grade and previous years. She ended up being scratched for a 54 in a
40, one point on the license, and a huge increase in her insurance.
Meanwhile, my ass was redder than a diaper rash after that incident.
Can't do that anymore in this day and age; CPS will come knocking and
your kid may even press charges on you.
4. NEVER argue with an officer. If he insists on giving you a ticket,
just take it. You want to be as forgettable as possible. Let the courts
decide your guilt. The more questions you ask the officer, the more
likely (s)he is going to remember you. If you believe you have a
fighting chance, ask good questions related to his evidence (or lack
thereof). However, stop if the officer becomes belligerent. If the
officer refuses to answer your questions or provides incomplete
answers, you can use the conversation against them when it comes time
for your trial. Most officers like to brag in hopes of convincing you
that you don't stand a chance in fighting your ticket. If they dodge
your questions, something is suspicious and you can point that out.
5. If RADAR or LIDAR was used, do not demand to see the readout. First
of all, it's a safety issue for the officer; (s)he doesn't know who you
are. Second, (s)he is under no obligation to show you. Ain't gonna
happen, especially if the officer lied about your speed.
6. NEVER agree to a voluntary search of your vehicle. If the officer has to ask, he does not have probable cause.
7. Upon receiving the citation, immediately make notes about the road
conditions, weather, traffic, the officer's demeanor, where and how you
were stopped, etc. It wouldn't hurt to write every detail; you'll need
it later.
8. Only take pictures if you think it's going to be relevant in
explaining your defense, otherwise you are just wasting your time. And
don't pull out the camera in front of him.
H. Citizen Complaints
I don't recommend filing citizen complaints against officers as they
have very little effect. Quite a number of departments go out of their
way to deliberately inconvenience you from seeking the proper forms
(though they claim otherwise) in the first place. You'll end up being
forced to tell your story to a watch commander (which is illegal;
they're supposed to hand you the forms without questions), who will
decide whether your case really warrants you receiving the forms. There
is also the risk of retaliation on the officer's part (yes, it does
happen). If you are harassed and/or illegally searched, there isn't
much you can do since your story will fall on deaf ears, especially to
the pro-police contingent who will automatically assume that you did
something horribly wrong to deserve such treatment.
I. Taking NotesI've been asked if it is a good idea to
take notes after receiving a ticket. Yes and no. DON'T ever tip the
officer off that you plan to fight your ticket. Don't pull out your
notepad and paper in front of him (duh, and yes, people have done it).
As soon as the officer has finished writing your ticket, leave the area
and don't come back for a few minutes until after the officer is long
gone. Then, make specific, handwritten notes of the date, time,
location, conditions, where the officer was when you first saw him (and
where you were), and any other information that will help you later on.
There is no such thing as having too much information. You'll need it
later when it comes time for trial.
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